Being a Friend in Crisis: Suicide on Campus

This is the fourth article in the ongoing series “Suicide on Campus”

As a college student, I often feel invincible — safe from what is happening in the world. What if that protected feeling was suddenly stripped away?  After a suicide on the University of Mount Union campus, I felt vulnerable and yet, this made me want to help educate students. Through an internship at Northeast Ohio Medical University, I have been writing a series of articles on suicide prevention ranging in topics from my first experience with suicide to resources and organizations that influence a student’s desire to live.

After the suicide at the University of Mount Union, hundreds of students gathered crying. I did my best trying to provide hugs and kind words, but I didn’t know what else to do. Later, I learned from reading A Psychological First Aid Guide (published by the Ohio Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services) that providing social support as soon as possible is the best way to help people recover and get back their lives. According to the Guide, there are six kinds of social support:

The first is emotional nurturance, which can include providing a hug and listening ear.

Second is creating a sense of belonging by offering a person the opportunity to share their experiences and concerns.

Next is esteem — a feeling of value.

Fourth is reassurance of self-worth. This can come from helping someone to develop confidence in his or her ability to handle challenges.

Fifth is advice and information. This category can include practical assistance: running an errand, doing the dishes, cooking a meal or making phone calls to family members, friends or social service agencies.

The last form of support is material assistance: obtaining what the individual needs, such as food and clothing.

One way to help a person recover from a crisis is to encourage them to lean on their close friends and family, not pull away. It is also important for the person to connect with the present instead of ruminating on the loss. Try to help them problem-solve their way through the situation.

• Here are some specific ways to help:
• Identify ways the individual can be helpful to others
• Find an uninterrupted time and place to provide help
• Show interest, attention and care
• Offer to talk or spend time with someone as many times as needed

Never say “I know how you feel,” because you really don’t. Instead, try phrases such as “I’m really sorry this is such a tough time for you” or “We can talk more tomorrow if you like.” Some students may not want to talk, and that’s okay. Providing a quiet presence can help just as much.

Nothing fills the void of losing a loved one, but receiving attention and knowing someone cares helps more than you might think.

–Dana Goehring is a senior at the University of Mount Union and an intern in the Office of Marketing and Communications at Northeast Ohio Medical University.

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Read additional pieces in the series:

• A Student’s Perspective
• New Funding, New Awareness
• LoveIt
• Mental Health Movements
• Signs of a Distressed Student