A Student’s Perspective: Suicide on Campus
Dec. 8, 2015
Dana Goehring, a senior at the University of Mount Union and an intern in NEOMED’s Office of Marketing and Communications, is writing a series of articles on preventing suicide and coping with its aftermath. Upcoming topics will include recent legislation and new campus initiatives; social media tools geared to students; suggestions of how to provide social support; a discussion of warning signs from the Psychological First Aid Guide for Ohio Colleges and Universities, published by Ohio Mental Health & Addiction Services; and ideas for how to cope with stressors of student life.
It was an ordinary day. My boss at my summer internship was in a meeting, her secretary was on her lunch break and I was left to cover the office. It was mostly quiet, the occasional student or faculty calling for information about an event. Those calls I could usually answer or transfer to someone more knowledgeable. I was focusing on my work when the phone rang, startling me out of my intense concentration.
“Hello, president’s office, this is Dana speaking,” I said.
I never could have anticipated what I heard next. Through crying and swearing, I could make out, “Hi, I really need to speak to the president…I have had enough and I am going to kill myself…”
My stomach dropped and my heart began to pound a pulsing beat that I could feel through the tips of my fingers as the blood rushed through my ears. The minutes seemed to crawl by before I could recollect what had just been said.
“Ma’am, what’s wrong? Just tell me the problem and I can try to help you.” As she began to tell her tale, my palms began to get clammy while my hold on the receiver turned into a white-knuckle grip. I could feel the cold sweat beginning to form on the back of my neck. I strained to pick up all the little noises in the background, trying to figure out the caller’s location. A few minutes into the call, the sharp whistle of a fire truck interrupted our conversation, so I could just faintly make out the words, “I have a gun sitting next to me…”
If I could just get her to keep talking to me, if she could tell me what was wrong…my mind raced to come up with anything to keep her talking. I knew eventually I would have to place her on hold so I could run over to another department to find someone who could help. After pleading with the woman to hold on and taking down her name and number, I raced down the hall to the Advancement department to ask for help.
Through the help of Advancement, I was able to get through to Security. Thankfully, they were already aware of the situation and had actually found the woman in the back parking lot of the school – without a gun. Security managed to get her inside to talk to a counselor. It took maybe 20 minutes, but it seemed like much longer until an ambulance arrived and took her to get the help she needed. I went back inside and sank into my chair, relieved and exhausted. The physical and emotional exhaustion hit me in a wave. My hands were shaking badly, and part of me felt numb, as tears slowly streamed down my cheeks. I kept hearing her voice in my head, saying, “I have a gun.’’
I was relieved when my boss excused me to leave early so I could collect my scattered thoughts. On my drive home I kept thinking, what if she had actually had a gun and pulled the trigger while we were on the phone?
This year, I am a senior at the University of Mount Union, a place where I have always felt protected and safe. Until last summer, I had never experienced someone contemplating suicide or ever thought I would. But this semester my sense of security was shattered again when a student at the University of Mount Union took her own life, right on campus. Although I didn’t know the young woman personally, she was part of my campus community and it broke my heart to see someone with so much potential choose to end her life this way.
After the event, professors, students, and coaches alike stood outside the campus chapel to offer support. I walked around trying to give hugs and a shoulder to lean on if needed. I wanted to let others know that there are people out there who care – especially others who might be thinking about ending their lives – but I didn’t really know how.
I started reading all the information I could find on suicide prevention and support. Because of how deeply these experiences affected me, I was eager to take the opportunity through an internship at Northeast Ohio Medical University to become an advocate for the prevention of suicide and share resources that are available. I will be writing a series of articles to provide direction for students who feel that they can no longer manage alone.
The articles will connect students to resources, like a new crisis text line that can use GPS to find and help someone who is in need. I’ll write about A Human Project, which provides resources to help people to redirect their negative emotions. I’ll also provide advice from A Psychological First Aid Guide and from our mental health experts here at NEOMED. And finally, I’ll offer ideas for coping strategies that have helped my friends and me get through our senior year. Through these articles, I would like to show students that life is precious and there is always someone who cares.
– Dana Goehring
The National Suicide Hotline is available 24/7 to connect the caller to a trained counselor at a local crisis center. Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Read additional pieces in the series:
- New Funding, New Awareness
- LoveIt
- Mental Health Movements
- Being a Friend in Crisis
- Signs of a Distressed Student